This made me laugh out loud: “If information was the answer then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.” That gem comes from Derek Sivers.
Reading about, listening to podcasts about and talking to my friends about meditation did not give me any of the benefits of meditation. I actually had to start sitting. Once I did, my life changed. Four months into meditating for 30 minutes a day I gave up sleeping pills. I am an insomniac no more. Because I actually did something.
Real change is a slow, incremental process. We change our minds by looking at our unconscious underlying beliefs. We change our habits by changing our physiology – we literally rewire our neural pathways.
My favorite book on the power and persistence of our underlying beliefs is Immunity to Change by Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan. Their process will help you methodically uncover what unconscious beliefs are driving you and help you design experiments to change those beliefs by changing your behavior.
Neurobiology is a hot topic right now – it’s hard to find someone who’s not writing about how our physiology controls our behavior. Jeffrey Schwartz was one of the pioneers. His “The Neuroscience of Leadership” is the perfect way to dip your toe into understanding what your amygdala is and why it’s been sabotaging you.
For a little more on how your brain works, why it lays down neural pathways and how to change them, try Leadership Embodiment by Wendy Palmer and Janet Crawford. The “Biology Behind it All” chapters are just the deep dive you want.
Let’s say you want to be a great speaker but you have horrid stage fright. First, respect your amygdala, which is telling your body that tigers will tear you in half every time you step in front of a microphone. Your amygdala doesn’t know there are rarely tigers on keynote stages anymore. It’s just trying to protect you, albeit in a non-productive way.
Once you recognize that your stage fright is simply a physiological response, look at your underlying beliefs (using the Immunity to Change process is perfect here). Then, take daily, incremental action. Observe yourself like a scientist and take notes as you go – engaging your conscious mind as an ally as you pave a new neural pathway. In other words, you will use your body to act out a new way of being and thinking until it sticks in your brain.
This is part of the reason why organizations like Toastmasters and BNI can really help – because you have to speak again and again in front of a friendly audience. It’s a safe and supportive place to take conduct your brain training practice.
Behavior and brain-based change is not a fast process, but it’s an effective one. It works. With your beautiful new neural pathway and the skills you learn as you pave it, you can be the tiger out on that keynote stage!
Communication is the essential last mile in finding and motivating the right teams, acquiring strong allies, powerfully bonding with customers, and capturing mindshare with compelling stories. Nothing will serve you and your vision better than developing exceptional communication skills.
