Sometimes communicating can be complicated and torturous because you don’t realize you’re talking about two things at once.
For example, you’re having an ongoing heated conversation with a colleague about whether you should do the sales dinner in Houston or Chicago. You never get to resolution, you just keep debating and getting nowhere. Why can’t you make this simple decision?
Because you may actually be talking about different things. Your colleague may not think that sales dinners are an effective way to engage prospects. He wants to do fewer of them. But he’s not saying that, so instead he’s just arguing with you about which city, delaying the decision.
Or you’re talking with a customer who bought your product a year ago. She continually objects to the price of additional features you know she really needs to make the product sing. But she keeps questioning your pricing model and asking for more and more justifications and data every time you see her. She may be under the gun from her CFO to justify all of her IT expenses across the board, so she’s just passing the pressure down to you.
When you’re in one of these circular conversations, what do you do? First, take a step back. If an issue keeps persisting, that’s a red flag – there’s something else going on! Now you get to be a bit of a detective. Take a deep breath and start observing. Sometimes people drop hints in things they say, or in the intensity of their reaction to specific things you may say. These hints give you a roadmap to guide the conversation to resolution.
If you have a good relationship with the person, ask them. Gently and gracefully! Like this:
“Ted, I know we keep going back and forth about Houston and Chicago, but I’m wondering if we’re really talking about the whole events program. Are you on board? Or do you have concerns we should talk about?
“Gretchen, I’m wondering if you’re under financial pressure across the board. Shall we talk about how we can best support you to get the most out of the investment you’ve already made with us? How can we help you look really good to your CFO and CEO?”
Every dialogue has its own momentum. When conversation isn’t flowing, artfully finding and surfacing the obstacles will get your momentum back on track.
Communication is the essential last mile in finding and motivating the right teams, acquiring strong allies, powerfully bonding with customers, and capturing mindshare with compelling stories. Nothing will serve you and your vision better than developing exceptional communication skills. If you’d enjoy finding pragmatic communications advice in your inbox every month, please click here to receive poseycorp’s newsletter.
